How to Soften the Look of Epaulettes for a More Feminine Vibe

A common query in the world of fashion is how to soften the look of epaulettes, those structured, often military-inspired shoulder ornaments, to create a more feminine and gentle aesthetic. While epaulettes are inherently powerful and bold, they don’t have to be exclusively masculine. By understanding the principles of balance, proportion, and texture, you can transform a garment with epaulettes from a rigid statement into a surprisingly soft and chic piece. This guide will walk you through the practical, actionable steps to achieve this stylistic shift.

The Foundation: Choosing the Right Garment

Before you even start accessorizing, the key to a softened epaulette look lies in the garment itself. Not all epaulettes are created equal.

  • Fabric is Your First Filter: Look for blouses, jackets, or dresses with epaulettes made from flowing, soft, or textured materials. Think silk, chiffon, lightweight linen, or even soft knits. Avoid heavy wools, stiff cottons, or thick twills, which only enhance the structured, military feel. A silk blouse with delicate, self-fabric epaulettes will always be easier to feminize than a structured cotton trench coat.

  • Size and Placement Matter: Opt for garments where the epaulettes are smaller, less pronounced, and sit closer to the shoulder seam. A large, oversized epaulette that extends far down the arm will always dominate the silhouette. A more subtle, refined epaulette is the perfect starting point for a softer look.

  • Color as a Cue: Choose lighter, softer colors. Pastels like blush pink, sky blue, or mint green immediately counteract the severity of the epaulette. Neutrals like off-white, ecru, or dove grey also work beautifully. If you love dark colors, go for deep jewel tones like emerald or sapphire, as they have a richness that can be styled in a feminine way.

Strategic Styling: The Art of Balance

Once you have your garment, the real transformation begins with styling. The goal is to create a visual counterpoint to the structure of the epaulettes, drawing the eye to softer lines and textures elsewhere in your outfit.

1. The Power of Proportion and Silhouette

The easiest way to soften a structured top is to pair it with something flowing on the bottom.

  • Example 1: Top with Epaulettes + Flowing Skirt: Imagine a crisp, navy blue blouse with subtle epaulettes. Instead of pairing it with tailored trousers, which would create a very sharp, uniform-like look, tuck it into a flowing, high-waisted A-line skirt in a floral print or a soft pleat. The movement and volume of the skirt will provide a beautiful contrast to the rigid lines of the top.

  • Example 2: Epaulette Jacket + Wide-Leg Trousers: If you’re working with a blazer or a jacket with epaulettes, avoid skinny jeans or slim-fit trousers. Instead, pair it with a pair of wide-leg trousers or palazzo pants in a lightweight fabric like Tencel or crepe. The fluid lines of the pants will balance the strong shoulder line of the jacket.

2. Texture and Fabric Play

Mix and match textures to create visual interest and soften the overall feel.

  • Example 1: Structured Top + Lace or Silk: Wear a military-style blouse with epaulettes. Layer it over a delicate, lace camisole or a silk slip dress, letting a bit of the softer fabric peek out at the neckline or hem. This juxtaposition immediately introduces a romantic element.

  • Example 2: Epaulette Jacket + Knitwear: A structured blazer with epaulettes can be worn over a soft, chunky knit sweater or a fine-gauge cashmere turtleneck. The softness and warmth of the knit will play beautifully against the more rigid lines of the jacket.

3. Accessorizing with Intention

Accessories are your most powerful tools for softening a look. They are the details that tell the rest of the story.

  • Jewelry as a Softening Agent:
    • Necklaces: Opt for necklaces with delicate chains, intricate pendants, or soft, organic shapes. A layered gold chain, a small pearl pendant, or a necklace with a floral motif will draw the eye downwards and away from the shoulders. Avoid heavy, chunky chokers or very geometric necklaces that might compete with the epaulettes.

    • Earrings: Choose earrings that are either delicate and dangling or feature soft curves. Pearl drops, small hoops, or earrings with a leaf or floral design are excellent choices. Steer clear of large, geometric stud earrings or anything too angular.

  • Belts and Sashes: Use a belt to define your waist, creating an hourglass silhouette that balances the broadness of the shoulders. A soft, self-fabric sash tied in a bow or a thin leather belt with a delicate buckle will achieve this effect better than a wide, rigid belt.

  • Scarves and Wraps: A lightweight scarf, draped loosely around the neck or tied into a soft bow, can completely transform a top with epaulettes. The flowing fabric and gentle folds will break up the straight lines of the shoulders. A pashmina or a silk wrap draped over the shoulders can also work wonders, partially obscuring the epaulettes while adding an element of grace.

Hair and Makeup: The Finishing Touches

Don’t underestimate the power of your hair and makeup in creating a specific vibe.

  • Hair:
    • Soft Updos: A messy bun, a low chignon with a few loose tendrils, or a soft, braided updo will complement the look beautifully. The organic, imperfect nature of these styles provides a stark contrast to the structured shoulders.

    • Loose Waves: Wearing your hair down in soft, beachy waves or loose curls can also work. The movement and softness of the hair will frame your face and shoulders, distracting from the rigidity of the epaulettes.

    • Avoid: Sleek ponytails, high buns, or very structured, geometric haircuts can sometimes enhance the severe look of epaulettes.

  • Makeup:

    • Soft Glam: Opt for a makeup look that focuses on soft, blended colors. Think a subtle smoky eye in shades of brown or bronze, a touch of blush on the apples of your cheeks, and a soft, glossy lip.

    • Fresh and Natural: A “no-makeup makeup” look with a dewy finish, a hint of mascara, and a natural lip color is a perfect way to keep the overall aesthetic light and feminine.

    • Avoid: Heavy, graphic eyeliner, very sharp contouring, or dark, matte lipstick can sometimes pull the look back towards a more aggressive or dramatic feel.

The Final Edit: Putting It All Together

To truly master the art of softening epaulettes, think of your outfit as a whole. Each piece should be a deliberate choice that contributes to the overall desired effect.

  • Example Outfit 1 (Business Casual): A light grey linen blazer with subtle epaulettes worn over a fine-gauge white knit top. Pair with wide-leg, high-waisted trousers in a soft, dusty rose color. Accessorize with a delicate silver necklace and small pearl stud earrings. Finish with a pair of pointed-toe ballet flats.

  • Example Outfit 2 (Evening Out): A silk blouse in a rich jewel tone like sapphire with self-fabric epaulettes. Tuck into a full, pleated midi skirt in a coordinating or contrasting shade. Add a thin gold belt at the waist. Accessorize with long, elegant drop earrings and a small clutch. Complete the look with a pair of heeled sandals.

  • Example Outfit 3 (Weekend Chic): A soft denim shirt with small epaulettes, unbuttoned slightly at the neck. Roll up the sleeves to the elbow. Pair with a pair of white, relaxed-fit trousers or a flowy, floral maxi skirt. Add a pair of leather slides or espadrilles, a woven tote bag, and a pair of delicate sunglasses.

By focusing on these practical, actionable steps—from choosing the right base garment to using styling and accessories as your primary tools—you can easily and effectively soften the look of epaulettes. It’s about creating a harmonious balance between structure and fluidity, strength and grace. The key is to be intentional with every element of your outfit, allowing the softer details to tell a new, more feminine story.