A definitive guide to accessorizing with cufflinks for a wedding
The wedding day is a celebration of love, but it’s also a showcase of style. While the focus is rightly on the couple, a well-dressed guest or groomsman understands that their attire is a sign of respect for the occasion. The secret to a truly polished look lies in the details, and few accessories offer the same blend of tradition, personality, and sophistication as cufflinks. This guide is your roadmap to mastering the art of accessorizing with cufflinks for a wedding, moving beyond the basics to create a look that is both impeccable and memorable.
Understanding the Cufflink Canvas: Shirt, Suit, and Tie
Before you even think about the cufflinks themselves, you must first understand the canvas on which they’ll be displayed. This is not about being a fashion expert, but about making deliberate choices that create a cohesive and elegant ensemble.
The Shirt: Double Cuffs are Non-Negotiable
For a formal wedding, the shirt is your foundation. The only cuff style you should consider is the French cuff, also known as the double cuff. This is a shirt sleeve that folds back on itself, creating two layers of fabric with buttonholes on each side, designed specifically to be fastened with cufflinks. A standard single-cuff shirt with buttons is simply not appropriate for this level of formality.
Actionable example: You’ve been invited to a black-tie wedding. You must choose a white or off-white French cuff shirt. The fabric should be crisp and a high thread count will feel and look more luxurious. The collar style, be it a spread collar or a semi-spread, is a matter of personal preference and how it complements your face shape. However, the cuff style is non-negotiable—it must be a French cuff.
The Suit or Tuxedo: A Unified Front
Your suit or tuxedo sets the tone for your entire outfit. The cufflinks must not clash with the overall feel of your suit. For a daytime or semi-formal wedding, a navy or charcoal gray suit is a classic choice. For an evening or black-tie event, a tuxedo is the standard.
Actionable example: You’re wearing a navy suit to a daytime wedding. Your cufflinks should not compete with the suit. Instead, they should complement it. Silver or gold cufflinks will work beautifully, but you could also consider a cufflink with a touch of blue enamel to subtly tie into the color of your suit.
The Tie or Bow Tie: A Harmonious Relationship
The tie is often the most colorful or patterned element of your formal wear. The cufflinks should harmonize with, not fight against, your tie. The goal is to create a visual flow, not a jumble of competing elements.
Actionable example: You’ve chosen a deep burgundy tie for a fall wedding. Your cufflinks could be a simple silver or gold, allowing the tie to be the focal point. Alternatively, you could find cufflinks that incorporate a subtle hint of burgundy, perhaps as a small enamel detail, to create a sophisticated and well-thought-out connection between the two accessories.
The Art of Selection: Material, Color, and Style
With your canvas in place, it’s time to choose the cufflinks themselves. This is where you can express a degree of personal style while remaining respectful of the occasion.
Material Matters: Silver, Gold, and Beyond
The material of your cufflinks is a key indicator of quality and formality.
- Silver: The most versatile and classic choice. It works with virtually any suit color and shirt. It can be polished and shiny for a more formal look or have a brushed finish for a slightly more understated feel.
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Gold: Exudes a sense of luxury and tradition. Gold cufflinks are an excellent choice for black-tie events or to be worn with a dark suit. They are particularly striking when paired with a white French cuff shirt.
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Platinum or White Gold: These materials offer the luster and durability of gold with the cooler, more modern look of silver. They are an excellent investment and a sign of true quality.
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Rose Gold: A warmer alternative to yellow gold, rose gold has become increasingly popular. It pairs beautifully with navy or gray suits and adds a contemporary touch.
Actionable example: You’re attending a black-tie wedding. You have a choice between a pair of simple, polished silver square cufflinks and a pair of solid gold cufflinks with a subtle ridged pattern. The gold cufflinks are the more appropriate choice. They are more formal and will stand out against the white shirt in a way that is both elegant and traditional.
Color and Enamel: Adding Personality
Beyond the metal, many cufflinks feature colored enamel or gemstones. This is where you can introduce a subtle pop of color and personality.
- Black Enamel: The most classic and formal color. Black enamel cufflinks are a perfect match for a tuxedo. They are understated and sophisticated.
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Mother of Pearl: Offers a subtle iridescence and classic elegance. Mother of pearl cufflinks are a timeless choice that pairs well with any formal attire.
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Gemstones: A step above. Small diamonds or onyx are excellent choices for formal events. Colored gemstones like sapphires or rubies can be used to coordinate with a tie or pocket square, but be careful not to overdo it.
Actionable example: Your partner’s favorite color is a deep forest green. You’re wearing a charcoal gray suit. Instead of a solid silver cufflink, you could choose a cufflink with a small, circular green enamel detail. This is a subtle nod to a personal connection without being overly ostentatious. The key is subtlety—a small detail, not an entire surface area.
Style and Shape: From Classic to Contemporary
Cufflinks come in a dizzying array of shapes and styles. Your choice should reflect the formality of the event and your personal aesthetic.
- The Knot: A simple, elegant, and timeless style. The knot cufflink is often made of silk or a woven metal. A classic knot cufflink is a fantastic choice for a more relaxed, semi-formal wedding.
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The Barbell: The most common and functional type. It consists of two decorative ends connected by a post. Barbell cufflinks can be as simple or as ornate as you like.
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The T-bar or Whaleback: These have a hinged post that flips open to fit through the cuff and then flips closed to secure it. They are very easy to use.
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The Ball-End: A traditional style where a small, rounded ball is used as the fastener. It offers a clean, elegant look.
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The Oval or Square: These are classic shapes that are a safe and stylish bet for any formal wedding.
Actionable example: You’re a groomsman in a beach wedding. While still a formal event, the atmosphere is more relaxed. Instead of a traditional T-bar cufflink, you could choose a woven silk knot cufflink in a color that matches the wedding’s theme, like a light blue or seafoam green. This choice is stylish, appropriate for the setting, and shows an understanding of the overall aesthetic.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Cufflink Etiquette
Beyond the selection process, there are specific rules of etiquette that separate the novice from the true gentleman.
Do Coordinate, Don’t Match
The goal is to create a cohesive look, not a perfectly matched one. Your cufflinks should complement your other metal accessories, such as your watch and belt buckle.
Actionable example: You’re wearing a classic silver watch with a leather strap. Your belt buckle is also silver. You should choose silver cufflinks. Mixing metals, such as wearing gold cufflinks with a silver watch, can create a disjointed and jarring effect. Stick to one metal family for a seamless, elegant look.
Do Consider the Theme, Don’t Be a Joke
If the wedding has a specific theme, you can subtly nod to it with your cufflinks. But be careful not to choose a novelty cufflink that detracts from the formality of the occasion.
Actionable example: You’re attending a wedding for two doctors. You could wear a subtle, elegant cufflink that incorporates the symbol of a snake and staff, but you should not wear a cufflink shaped like a syringe. The former is a sophisticated nod; the latter is a novelty item best saved for a themed party.
Do Practice, Don’t Fumble
The last thing you want to be doing minutes before a wedding ceremony is fumbling with your cufflinks. Practice putting them on and taking them off beforehand.
Actionable example: A week before the wedding, take out your French cuff shirt and your chosen cufflinks. Practice putting them on until you can do it quickly and confidently. This small step will save you stress and ensure you look perfectly composed on the big day.
Do Invest, Don’t Buy Disposable
A good pair of cufflinks is an investment. They are a timeless accessory that you can wear for many years and pass down. Buying cheap, disposable cufflinks will not only look inferior but will also break easily.
Actionable example: Instead of buying a pair of zinc alloy cufflinks that will tarnish and break, invest in a pair of solid sterling silver cufflinks. Not only will they look better, but they will last a lifetime with proper care.
The Complete Ensemble: Tying It All Together
To truly master the art of accessorizing, you must see the cufflinks not as a standalone item, but as part of a complete and harmonious ensemble.
Cufflinks and the Pocket Square
The pocket square is another opportunity to add color and texture. While your cufflinks should not be an exact match for your pocket square, they should exist in the same color family or tonal range.
Actionable example: You’ve chosen a silk pocket square with a subtle pattern of navy and light blue. Your cufflinks could be a simple silver with a small, circular navy enamel detail. This creates a visual connection without being overly coordinated.
Cufflinks and Your Shoes
Your shoes are an often-overlooked element that can either make or break your look. The formality of your shoes should match the formality of your cufflinks.
Actionable example: You’re wearing a tuxedo and your solid gold cufflinks. Your shoes should be a pair of patent leather Oxfords. A pair of brown loafers, no matter how expensive, would be a stylistic mismatch. The shine and formality of the patent leather complement the luster of the gold cufflinks, creating a sense of unified elegance.
Conclusion: The Finishing Touch
The final decision of which cufflinks to wear is a testament to your understanding of style, occasion, and personal expression. This guide has given you the tools to move beyond simple selection and into the realm of deliberate, thoughtful accessorizing. By understanding the interplay between your shirt, suit, and tie, choosing the right material and style, and adhering to key rules of etiquette, you can ensure that your cufflinks are not just an afterthought but a carefully considered finishing touch that elevates your entire look. A pair of well-chosen cufflinks is a statement of confidence and a mark of respect for the significance of the day.