How to Choose a Pocket Square for a Date Night

I can help with that! Here is a comprehensive guide on how to choose a pocket square for a date night, written to meet all your specifications.


The Definitive Guide to Choosing a Pocket Square for a Date Night

The pocket square: a small square of fabric with a monumental impact. For a date night, it’s not just an accessory; it’s a statement. It signals attention to detail, a dash of personality, and an effort that says, “I’m here to impress.” But choosing the right one can feel like navigating a sartorial minefield. A misstep can turn a sharp outfit into a chaotic mess, while a well-chosen piece can elevate your entire look from good to unforgettable. This guide is your roadmap to mastering the art of the date night pocket square, ensuring you project confidence, style, and thoughtfulness with every fold.

The Three Golden Rules: Your Pocket Square Compass

Before diving into specifics, anchor yourself to these three fundamental principles. They serve as a quick mental checklist to prevent fashion faux pas.

1. The Rule of Contrast: Your pocket square should never perfectly match your tie. Ever. This is the single most common and detrimental mistake. A matching set looks stiff, unimaginative, and dated. Instead, aim for a pocket square that complements your tie or shirt, creating a harmonious contrast rather than a mirror image.

  • Example: If you’re wearing a navy blue tie, don’t choose a solid navy blue pocket square. Opt for a white linen square with a navy edge, a paisley silk square with subtle navy accents, or a solid burgundy square. The goal is visual interest, not camouflage.

2. The Rule of Texture and Fabric: The fabric of your pocket square should vary from the fabric of your suit and tie. This is crucial for adding depth and dimension to your outfit. Mixing textures is a sophisticated way to show sartorial savvy.

  • Example: A silk tie pairs beautifully with a textured linen or cotton pocket square. A tweed or wool suit looks fantastic with a crisp silk or a soft cotton square. Don’t pair a shiny silk tie with a shiny silk pocket square; the look becomes one-dimensional and overly glossy.

3. The Rule of the Occasion (and Your Date): Your choice should be tailored to the venue and the tone of the date. A formal dinner calls for a different approach than a casual stroll through an art gallery. Consider the pocket square as a reflection of the evening’s ambiance.

  • Example: For a romantic, upscale restaurant, a sophisticated silk or fine linen square in a classic puff or presidential fold is ideal. For a more relaxed, creative date like a concert, a cotton or wool square with a more relaxed fold like the winged puff or a casual ‘poof’ can show off a playful side.

Step 1: Matching the Pocket Square to the Shirt

Your shirt is the foundation of your upper body outfit. The pocket square can either build upon this foundation or clash with it. Think of it as a conversation between the two garments.

  • The Classic White Shirt: This is your blank canvas. A white shirt allows for virtually any pocket square.
    • Actionable Advice: To add a touch of color, choose a pocket square with a bold, single hue that complements your tie or jacket. For a minimalist, elegant look, a crisp white linen square with a hand-rolled edge is timeless.

    • Concrete Example: With a white shirt, a charcoal suit, and a red grenadine tie, a silk pocket square featuring a pattern with subtle red and black elements will tie everything together without being overtly matched.

  • The Striped or Patterned Shirt: This requires a more nuanced approach. The pocket square should not compete with the shirt’s pattern.

    • Actionable Advice: Pick out a secondary color from your shirt’s pattern and choose a solid pocket square in that shade. Alternatively, choose a pocket square with a pattern that is significantly larger or smaller than your shirt’s pattern to avoid a dizzying effect.

    • Concrete Example: If your shirt has thin blue and white stripes, a solid navy blue pocket square will be too predictable. Instead, choose a solid burgundy silk square to add a rich, unexpected color. Or, opt for a micro-dot patterned pocket square that is much smaller than the shirt stripes.

Step 2: Harmonizing with the Tie

The relationship between your pocket square and your tie is where the magic happens. This is your chance to show off your eye for detail and color theory.

  • Tie Color and Pocket Square:
    • Actionable Advice: The pocket square should pick up on a color from the tie’s pattern, but not be the dominant color of the tie itself. If your tie is a solid color, your pocket square can introduce a pattern that includes that color.

    • Concrete Example: Wearing a dark green silk tie with small navy polka dots? Choose a pocket square that is predominantly navy or white, with small accents of green. This creates a visual bridge without a direct copy.

  • Tie Texture and Pocket Square:

    • Actionable Advice: Varying the texture is your secret weapon. A textured tie demands a smoother pocket square, and vice versa.

    • Concrete Example: A rough-textured wool tie (perfect for a colder date night) pairs beautifully with a smooth, luxurious silk pocket square. A shiny silk tie is balanced by a matte linen or cotton square. This interplay of textures prevents a monochromatic feel.

Step 3: Deciding on Fabric: A Tactile Guide

The fabric of your pocket square dictates its drape, fold, and formality. Choosing the right material is a non-negotiable step.

  • Silk: The classic choice. Silk offers a luxurious sheen and vibrant color.
    • When to Use: Formal dates, romantic dinners, and when you want to project a sophisticated, smooth vibe.

    • Fold Recommendation: The puff fold or a soft, unstructured fold to show off the fluidity of the fabric. A crisp, flat fold can look stiff with silk.

  • Linen: Matte, crisp, and incredibly versatile. Linen provides a beautiful, understated texture.

    • When to Use: Warmer weather, business-casual dates, and any time you want to project a cool, collected confidence.

    • Fold Recommendation: The presidential fold (flat square) or a single-point fold. The crispness of linen holds these structured folds beautifully.

  • Cotton: The workhorse of the pocket square world. Cotton is matte, holds a fold well, and offers a vast range of colors and patterns.

    • When to Use: Casual dates, weekend outings, and for a relaxed, approachable look.

    • Fold Recommendation: A casual puff or any unstructured fold. The inherent stiffness of cotton allows for a beautiful, effortless-looking poof.

  • Wool/Tweed: Best for colder seasons and textured suits. Wool and tweed squares add a tactile, cozy element to your outfit.

    • When to Use: Winter dates, evening outings, or with a heavy wool suit or sports coat.

    • Fold Recommendation: A loose, casual puff. The thickness of the fabric doesn’t lend itself to sharp, precise folds.

Step 4: The Art of the Fold: More Than Just a Square

The way you fold your pocket square is the final touch that communicates your intent. It can be a subtle detail or a bold statement. Here are the go-to folds for a date night.

  • The Presidential Fold (The Square Fold): A clean, simple, and formal fold.
    • How to Do It: Fold the square in half, then fold it in half again to form a smaller square. Finally, fold it into a long rectangle that fits neatly in your pocket, with only a small, straight line of fabric visible.

    • When to Use: Formal dates, business-like dinners, or when wearing a tuxedo. It shows seriousness and an appreciation for classic style.

    • Pocket Square Fabric: Linen or cotton. The crispness holds this fold perfectly.

  • The Puff Fold: The most romantic and versatile fold. It’s soft, unstructured, and gives a relaxed, confident vibe.

    • How to Do It: Lay the square flat. Pinch it in the center and lift it up, letting the corners fall naturally. Gather the fabric a few inches below the center and tuck the pointed end into your pocket, letting the puffed-up part sit above the pocket opening.

    • When to Use: Most date nights, especially when wearing a silk pocket square. It’s approachable and stylish.

    • Pocket Square Fabric: Silk or a soft cotton.

  • The One-Point Fold (The Triangle Fold): A classic, understated fold that’s a step up from the Presidential Fold in terms of flair.

    • How to Do It: Lay the square flat. Fold it in half diagonally to form a triangle. Then, fold the two outer points inward so that they meet at the center. Finally, fold the bottom up and tuck it into your pocket, leaving the single point visible.

    • When to Use: A versatile choice for a dinner or a night out. It’s classic without being overly formal.

    • Pocket Square Fabric: Linen or a cotton blend.

  • The Winged Puff: A more creative, dynamic alternative to the classic puff. It’s stylish and shows an artistic sensibility.

    • How to Do It: Begin with the puff fold. Once you have the puffed-up fabric in your hand, slightly pull the two outer sides down to form a “V” shape or wings. Tuck it into your pocket, allowing the wings to frame the central puff.

    • When to Use: A creative, modern date like a gallery opening or a concert. It shows personality.

    • Pocket Square Fabric: Silk works best for this fold due to its drape.

The Strategic Checklist: A Pre-Date Pocket Square Review

Before you walk out the door, run through this quick checklist to ensure your pocket square choice is perfect.

  1. Is it a perfect match? If the pocket square is the exact same color and pattern as your tie, swap it out immediately.

  2. Are the textures different? Check if your tie and pocket square fabrics provide a good contrast. Silk and linen, wool and cotton, etc.

  3. Is the fold right for the occasion? A presidential fold for a casual coffee date is overkill. A sloppy puff for a formal dinner shows a lack of effort.

  4. Does it introduce a new, complementary color? The best pocket squares add a new layer of color to your outfit, not just a repeat. Look for a subtle color in your tie or shirt and amplify it.

  5. Is it too bold? If your suit is already loud and your tie is a bold pattern, your pocket square should be a quiet, solid color. The pocket square should be the highlight, but not the only thing anyone can look at.

Final Words of Advice: Confidence is the Best Accessory

Ultimately, a pocket square is a tool for self-expression. It’s a subtle way to show your personality and your attention to detail. The best pocket square for a date night isn’t the most expensive or the most complex; it’s the one that makes you feel confident and comfortable. When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows. And that kind of self-assurance is the most attractive thing you can wear.